Namaste - I am currently 55 years of age. You could say that my only subject now is Truth; and here is my personal story. Born in the US, I was a searcher for truth at a young age. At the age of 18 I joined an esoteric Christian order. During evening rituals, while kneeling at the altar, Father Blighton laid hands upon my head...at that moment, a bolt of golden light went through my body. It was like lightning hit - absolute gold - and I entered a state of Samadhi (though at the time I had no idea of what samadhi was). This samadhi lasted a period of three days. It was consisting of the feeling of being connected to ALL of creation, yet separate as a witness and not involved.

After leaving the order I stayed with the Krishna Consciousness movement for about a year. During this time I learned much about Bhakti. One day when Srila Prabhupada was coming in from his morning walk, I was standing with some flower malas and waiting for Darshan. While walking by his eyes fell upon me and he motioned me to follow him. This was highly unusual, as only initiate devotees of high standing were afforded private interviews with him. I never took initiation but was sincere and indeed leaned towards the Bhakti inclinations. When we arrived within his private quarters he asked me to place the malas on his Radha and Krishna deities...and with this he looked at me point blank and said "Within this lifetime, you will reach self-realization." It seemed that there was a knowing within that my path was not to stay within the Krishna movement; and yet he wanted to share this with me, to spur me on. I put my hands together in Namaste and thanked him, then ISKON. My time there had come to its conclusion. I am very grateful for the lessons learned while I was there.

From the Krishna Consciousness movement, the interim years were spent in internal contemplations and in search for understanding of various religious texts. Much wisdom came as my prayer was always to know the Truth. My singular prayer was for Truth above all things.

At the age of 29 I decided to sit and meditate. Sitting on the floor, suddenly, there was a vibration at the end of my tailbone - mulhadara chakra - then suddenly extreme heat rose up my spine. Going to bed that evening I could not sleep. I complained to my husband that the birds were making so much noise it was impossible to sleep. It sounded as if a hundred were in a tree all chirping at once. I was informed it was the middle of the night and that there were no birds. This was the start of what was to be long years of pain and numerous kundalini created manifestations. This lasted until completion in the year 1999. During the time of manifestation it felt as if I would spontaneously combust, the heat was so intense, and my nervous system felt as if it was short circuiting everywhere at once. There were spontaneous mundras (hand gestures) and kriyas that happened. Energy moved through the body uncontrolled. At one point, it felt as if ice cold water was poured into the heart area. There were dreams of fires and snakes. This went on for many months, and then years. The mental modifications included extreme depression, then feeling the pain of the world. Then as one absolutely dead. These were all lasting over one to two years in duration. Siddhis came, such as the ability to feel whatever was happening in another person's body and the ability to heal pain. This process continued to unfold until coming to India, and being pulled into a Nirvakalpa Samadhi...beyond subject and object, a merging within the Self. From that point the old self with its fears died. What emerged was liberation - knowing what IS the Essence of ALL LIFE. A merging of Shakti into Shiva had occured. I am now a speaker of truth, and willing to help others through their Kundalini awakening experience.

When Nirvakalpa was entered into, the false ideations of the limited ego self (or that which seeks to control its own limitations) ended; or that which sees itself as the form which is within life and death was transcended. The experience of Kundalini ended within self-inquiry. It took everything to its natural end, which is simply the beginning, which has also been backed by Ramana Maharishis' findings. In the end all relative knowledge that had been acquired, all the mysteries and ceremonies, all the Love and Devotion, all the sacrifice and suffering...everything that had been held was released: the powers, the ideations, the conditioninings. All was surrendered to the Divine. And in one brief

Love and Blessings Sat*Chit*Anand shanti-shanti-shanti Om